Saturday, September 27, 2008

He was married for 50 years to Joanne Woodward, whom he meet on the stage on Broadway, he was a true romantic. What other Hollywood leading man could stay married to the same woman for 50 years and act opposite some of Hollywood's most gorgeous women!!! He was sexy, he was charitable, he was a compassionate man.
A legend and a hero.
… he will be missed but forever in my heart!!!!
Paul Leonard Newman
January 26, 1925
September 26, 2008

Friday, September 26, 2008

Puns make me laugh!

No Pun Intended
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra...
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: “A beer please, and one for the road.”
6. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.' 'I don't believe you,' says Dolly. 'It's true; no bull!' exclaims Daisy.
7. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
8. Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
9. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
10. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!
11. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
12. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
13. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
14. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
15. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
16. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain and is named "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan you've seen Ahmal."
17. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
18. And finally, there was the person who sent many different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least 10 of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in 10 did (say the last five words aloud, fast)!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

With an e mail address you get a ton of "forwards". this one just happened to make me smile so I thought I would share.........

'I Hope You Dance...!!

This was written by an 83-year-old
woman to her friend. *The last line
says it all. *

Dear Bertha .
I'm reading more and dusting less.
I'm sitting in the yard and admiring
the view without fussing about the
weeds in the
garden. I'm spending more time with
my family and friends and less time

Whenever possible, life should be a
pattern of experiences to savor, not
to endure. I'm trying to recognize
these moments now and cherish

I'm not 'saving' anything; we use our
good china and crystal for every special event such
as losing a pound, getting
the sink unstopped, or the first
Amaryllis blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market.
My theory is if I look prosperous, I can
shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries. I'm
not saving my good
perfume for special parties, but
wearing it for clerks in the hardware
store and tellers at the bank.

'Someday' and 'one of these days' are losing their
grip on my vocabulary. If
it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I
want to see and hear and do it now !!

I'm not sure what others would've
had they known they wouldn't be here
for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think they would have
called family members and a few
close friends. They might have called
a few former friends to apologize and
mend fences for past squabbles. I like
to think they would have gone out for a Chinese dinner or for whatever
their favorite food was.

I'm guessing; I'll never know.

It's those little things left undone
that would make me angry if I knew
my hours were limited. Angry because
I hadn't written certain letters that
I intended to write one of these days. Angry and
sorry that I didn't tell my husband and parents
often enough how
much I truly love them. I'm trying very
hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything
that would add laughter and
luster to our lives. And every morning
when I open my eyes, tell myself that
it is special.

Every day, every minute, every breath
truly is a gift from God. !!